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#1252739 - 09/01/10 03:41 PM office tactics ...I need suggestions
ku_painter Offline
Pixel Gangster

Registered: 02/21/05
Loc: Rockin a dial-up connection
I'm on a project that is the super suck and 95% of it has to do with one of the customers/clients. I need some good suggestions for things to do to annoy her, but not get fired.

Here's what I am doing so far to annoy this person. We will call her B for illustration purposes:

1) When on phone calls with B, I tell her that I need to put her on hold for a sec.
I put her on hold and then take the bathroom break and hit the vending machine and then mosey back to my desk and get back on the phone.

2) E-mail delay -- When B emails, I take a minimum of 40 minutes to reply no matter how simple the question or the response. I also look at her Outlook calendar and try to time emails for right before she is going into a meeting. The delay feature in Outlook is awesome for helping with the delay.

Additionally on the email...no matter how simple the request, I make sure to email back and always ask for "further clarification". This basically constipates the whole development process, but can be explained away as being very detail oriented.

3) Instant Message--- When B pings me, I absolutely do not respond to her under any circumstances.



Looking for more clever ideas to annoy.....
_________________________
I listen to crappy indie music.

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#1252740 - 09/01/10 03:49 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
larryb2 Offline
Am I Wrong?

Registered: 11/22/09
Loc: United Center
Keep burping on the phone. Of course say excuse me but then throw in a fart for good measure. Tell her you are super busy and have indegestion from all the interuptions.
_________________________
Please know there is a HUGE difference between disagreeing with someone and disrespecting someone.

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#1252741 - 09/01/10 03:50 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
and_one Offline
Max Falkenstien

Registered: 06/19/09
Loc: Colorado
I have customers/clients like that....

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/6906851

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#1252742 - 09/01/10 03:56 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: and_one]
larryb2 Offline
Am I Wrong?

Registered: 11/22/09
Loc: United Center
Tell her you would like to meet up with her on the way back from seeing the doctor for what you think may be Meningitis or Malaria.
_________________________
Please know there is a HUGE difference between disagreeing with someone and disrespecting someone.

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#1252743 - 09/01/10 03:57 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: and_one]
Geezer Offline
To serve & protect

Registered: 01/08/06
Loc: JayhawkLaw office Lobby
LOL
_________________________
"Nice hands, Jess." Bill Self, Oct. 17, 2012


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#1252744 - 09/01/10 03:58 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: larryb2]
ku_painter Offline
Pixel Gangster

Registered: 02/21/05
Loc: Rockin a dial-up connection
Come on gutter, this is serious business. How you gonna pull off farting on (into) the phone unless you physically hold the phone up to your ass. This is assume of course that you do not have some weird talent you have not told us about ?
_________________________
I listen to crappy indie music.

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#1252745 - 09/01/10 04:09 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
larryb2 Offline
Am I Wrong?

Registered: 11/22/09
Loc: United Center
I often fart out of my mouth.

Since you don't want to get fired and are representing a company the best advice I can give you is to try your best to deal with her. Probably easier said than done but what other choice do you have?
_________________________
Please know there is a HUGE difference between disagreeing with someone and disrespecting someone.

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#1252746 - 09/01/10 04:10 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: larryb2]
ku_painter Offline
Pixel Gangster

Registered: 02/21/05
Loc: Rockin a dial-up connection
Quote:

what other choice do you have?




This is why I started my thread
_________________________
I listen to crappy indie music.

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#1252747 - 09/01/10 04:13 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
Geezer Offline
To serve & protect

Registered: 01/08/06
Loc: JayhawkLaw office Lobby
Get the project finished as soon as you can and move on.
_________________________
"Nice hands, Jess." Bill Self, Oct. 17, 2012


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#1252748 - 09/01/10 04:40 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
unburnt_orange Offline
Crimson & Blue Blood

Registered: 01/06/05
Is this a joke? If you're serious and you want to keep this job, then IMO what you're doing is already a very bad idea...several very bad ideas...without adding even more bad ideas.
_________________________


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#1252749 - 09/01/10 04:54 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: unburnt_orange]
bpritchett Offline
Phog Fanatic

Registered: 06/24/05
Loc: Exile
I don't know. I've had clients who sent so many idiot messages (email, phone, skype, text) demanding an immediate response nothing ever got done. You had to prioritize for them, and that meant guarding your time -- one project phone call a day morning or evening, whatever made the most sense -- and hiding the rest of the time.

And then there was that one client who just needed a life outside the office, so we set them up with somebody. Nothing sleazy. Perfectly well intentioned, and it worked out pretty well for everybody involved.
_________________________
Whatever.

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#1252750 - 09/01/10 04:58 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: bpritchett]
unburnt_orange Offline
Crimson & Blue Blood

Registered: 01/06/05
I must be unfamiliar with this type of client. Most of mine have been doctors, and if I left one on hold for a "sec" while I mosied to the bathroom and vending machine, you'd hear the screams in Texas.
_________________________


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#1252751 - 09/01/10 05:12 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: unburnt_orange]
madcapper Offline
Crimson & Blue Blood

Registered: 10/13/04
Loc: center of nowhere
I'd fire you for dragging things out and being a nuisance.
_________________________
I had my cat neutered and now he's a liberal

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#1252752 - 09/01/10 06:03 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
jensen Offline
Crimson & Blue Blood

Registered: 02/05/04
Loc: Charleston, SC
Walk over to her desk and clip your fingernails while asking her a question.

Start copying her superiors on your email replies.
_________________________
Bill Self: I�ll eat barbecue anytime. It makes no difference to me who prepares it, I�ll eat it.

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#1252753 - 09/01/10 06:15 PM Re: office tactics ...I need suggestions [Re: ku_painter]
unburnt_orange Offline
Crimson & Blue Blood

Registered: 01/06/05
On the other hand, if your client is 5-10 go for it.
_________________________


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